Husband Continues Yo Talk to Anotger Woman
Is it appropriate for your husband and another woman to constantly text and call each other during day but claim they are only friends?
#2
10 years ago
I'm a stay at home mom and he works all day and the girl Is out of state but they spend all day texting and calling each other and he doesn't even call me during day. They text when he gets home and on weekends while he's off and interrupts our family time. I have checked his phone and all conversations are really innocent no flirting unless he is deleting them. I'm really upset with this girl for Not respecting our family time. Help
#3
10 years ago
Im really sorry but I would say "NO". I had something similiar happen to me (see my story) last year it was such a distressing time..
I have been unable to move on in our marriage since, as I still can't forget nor forgive him for it!! to me it was just as bad as having an affair..I honestly thought we were such a close couple, we are, but things are never the same after these sort of things I don't care what anybody says !!
Just want to wish you all the best..😖
#4
10 years ago
Thank you for your advice. It's just so hard to think that they are just friends when they constantly talk. But confusing because of how innocent the texts seem. I have told him before that I don't really feel comfortable and told him to tell her that and now that I have found that they are continuing it I have become furious with the both of them for making me feel like this. I'm furious with her For not respecting my daughter And giving her her much needed daddy time without being interrupted. I'm mad that she can't respect our marriage and my feelings. I got the girls number to call and let her know myself just not sure that would be the best thing to do.
#5
9 years ago
They may only be friends but I would still watch out cause I would be upset if he was spending that much time talking to her
#6
9 years ago
I have the exact same situation going on it makes me sick, the texting is non-stop, although I never get to read any of them I can see them on the online phone bill, I think personally it is like an emotional affair, he says there is nothing going on but sometimes these text go on and on for hours its like an obsession and my feelings in regards to it don't seem to matter, I have had it out with him more than once about it!
#7
8 years ago
No.. what is the purpose? If it was a text once a week or so maybe I would get it. Just wants some attention, feel connected, have a female friend.
Everyday..That starts an emotional connection. No way about it. That may not have been his intention but that is what it is.
#8
8 years ago
No. I had this situation 2 months ago. I found out that he keeps on calling or texting this office mate. I confronted him. He told me it' s nothing. I told him I'm not comfortable with it. Though he told me it' s nothing my heart says there' s something going on. It's unusual for married guy yo maintain such closeness with a woman aside from her wife. I observed him more closely since then. I' m so furious. I felt betrayed though there's no physical contact (he said) I can't still don't trust him.
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#9
8 years ago
Be very suspicious of this. This is exactly how emotional affairs begin, as friends usually texting, calling and filling an emotional void that might exist in your spouse. I am speaking from experience as the man I am now in a relationship with started this type of friendship with me 2 years ago and eventually left his wife. I feel that it's okay for a spouse to have friends that are of the opposite sex but to an extent. Texting and calling constantly is the start of an emotional affair and you must be really leery of this. I'd talk to him about her and if he refuses to stop, take it as a big red flag.
#10
8 years ago
Hi,
I'm in a very unusual situation. My late husband committed suicide in 2009. I was angry that he left me that way, so I didn't hesitate to get involved with a former close friend of his that same year. His friend and I became close. Our relationship last for almost four years.
Then, it turned out that he had cheated on me with MULIPLE women. I finally gave him an ultimatum to stop the cheating. He wouldn't so I left him.
I met another man at the end of 2012 who reminded me of my late husband. We started dating, and we married in March of 2013.
My ex-bf was upset about my marriage, and at first he ignored me but then he started texting me every single day. I must have told him at least 20 times that he had had his chance and he blew it. My husband is very understanding about him because he knows that I had been close friends with him long before we ever became lovers. But the texting occurs every single day. We don't text for long. Maybe for 15 minutes a day. Still he texts me every day.
Now I'm in the process of trying to set him up with a close friend of mine. So, he texts me about her and my husband knows that he is now seeing her. Maybe because of this, my husband tolerates all the texting. I never initiate the texting, so my husband sees that my ex is the one who starts it all. I have to be honest and admit that I am having a type of "emotional affair" with my ex. I never really got over him but I didn't realize it. Still, I believe I did the right thing in marrying my husband because he is a lovely person. And, he knows I would never leave him for my ex.
If you're in a situation where you wife or husband keeps texting someone else, you need to be sure that the emotional affair doesn't develop into something more serious. I am confident that nothing is going to disrupt my marriage in spite of my texting my ex. And, I am hoping that my girlfriend will hook up with my ex and that things will develop there. Her ex-boyfriend was worse than my ex in the cheating department.
Foxie
#11
8 years ago
if its hurting u badly then tell him how u feel
#12
8 years ago
If they are that taken with each other, human nature being what it is, it's just a matter of time. If it's not okay with you, then it's not okay. And he should know better.
#13
7 years ago
Hi.. My situation wud be the other way around I guess. I am the other woman who have been texting my old good friend almost everyday. He text me. Or I text him. I know it seems weird that we are texting and calling each other. Sometimes it's just a hi.. Gud morning n gudnite. It just feels good to talk. We talk about anything under the sun. My husband and his wife knows we were very good friends before we met our own spouses. We met in college but we never dated. I admit that I used to have a big crush on him but he is just not meant to be mine. We met again around 6years ago and we just click back again. We are now 46yrs old. We are both in a good marriage situation. We have never complained about our marriage life to each other. Theres nothing to complain anyway.In fact we actually pray for each other happiness. I m not sure if we are emotionally in need of each other or that we are having an unappropriate situation. I have been advised that this cud lead to a more serious stuff if we are not careful. It's been 6 years and our family are friends wiz each other too. He have 3 kids and I have 4. We hv spent many outings together. Both our spouses seems to accept that me and my old friend are just friends. I m honest wiz my husband. And he seems to trust me as well as my friend. This texting n calling almost every other day does seems strange to some. But I am enjoying having my good friend back in my life. If both our spouses are not affected by it. I believe it is OK. Isn't it?
#14
7 years ago
Depends.. its an office culture woman..you might not be in it..
So you might not know..it is something you can't even ask..
If you have doubts and you have communicated.. and even said it to your bf.. all you would break your relationship..
Men betray..men just do anything..either swallow..or leave!..
That was my story...
But you just cant say it on their face..!!What is appropriate or what is inappropriate!
#15
7 years ago
Are they business related conversations? Do they communicate at home away from work and on the weekends? Does your husband love you still? Has he been treating you any different than in the past when he wasn't communicating with this other woman. You are married and have a right too some answer especially if it is interfering with your daily lives and inter personal relationships.
#16
7 years ago
No! That's how my husband ended up cheating and got away with it. They worked together, she was his manager and she kept calling him at home about work....he spoke to her so much he started calling me by her name and we used to joke about it! Several months later they ended up having cheap sordid sex meetings which only lasted a couple of months, and he left to go to another job but now she has just had his baby! So no, it is not appropriate. Don't be too trusting like I was....
#17
7 years ago
I've been going through the same thing. First of all, I do believe most women can talk/text guys with the intention of not cheating. However, being a guy, I do believe 98 % of men who talk/text another women co-worker will eventually bring up sex. Also, being a guy , we will use every tactic to get you to cheat . We tell you how bad our marriage is, tell you I've been cheated on , etc. .
Now a days, your crazy if your not checking your spouses Facebook, phone, or whatever means they can do it. Of course someone going to say, my spouse doesn't do that . Don't trust anybody 100%.
This happened to me.. One day I checked my wife's phone. A male co-worker sent my wife a text that said" show me your *****". I comforted my wife . The first thing she said was " why were you checking my phone" second , she said " he was only joking". Instead of saying , Ill text him and tell him never to send anything like that again . She responds with " he was joking ".
I'm telling you , phones and the internet are even making the quiet ones speak .. If you want trust , leave your phone/computer unlocked and available anytime . if you have nothing to hide . Let them look !!!
If your one of the few that have spouses that truly love you ,that's great.. But if your spouse/companion accuses you of checking on them, phone is on silent, deletes his/her internet browser history or takes his/her phone everywhere he/she goes .. Start checking, but its too late ..
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#18
7 years ago
Please help I am in this situation too. My partner of 9 years and father of my son is texting his female friend every day that he met 6 years ago and I know she's going through a tough time because her partner just kicked her and his kids out and he keeps saying he is just being a good friend and that she wants to be my friend and he is a really nice guy and I appreciate how caring he is to his friends but despite all that I can't help but be annoyed that they text constantly and say stuff like sweet dreams. I need some advice
#19
7 years ago
"Your" husband not hers...he should be texting His wife...she's a friend now..his lover later!
#20
7 years ago
Betty, I would suggest rein your husband in asap, if its not too late....tell him how it is unsettling you and how would he feel if you were doing the same and ending your call to a work colleague with...sweet dreams! Totally inappropriate!
My husband thought just because they weren't having sex he wasn't cheating! He thought several months of secret phone calls after the physical stuff stopped was perfectly ok! And to this day thinks he wasn't cheating then.....needless to say, I never took him back....
#21
7 years ago
Maybe your partner's "friend" is looking for her next provider.
#22
7 years ago
And Betty , at the end of the day as anonymous said, he's 'your' husband, not hers, she is not his responsibility and banshee made a valid comment too......she could be scouting for her next provider, protector....nothing like a sob story with a couple of kids thrown in to get the desired response...sorry if I come across so sceptical, but once bitten twice shy!
#23
7 years ago
I see your points, thanks for your help, and I'm worried what she might be putting into his head. I guess it's wishful thinking that they are just friends.. Please help me what do I do I just want us to be happy. He keeps saying it's the same as his male friends. If he cared about me and our son why would he lie? Is he scared of how I would react? He says he will stop saying stuff like that but I just don't know what to do it makes me feel sick
#24
7 years ago
I've told him to move in with her instead of texting her while we are having a conversation. He won't. What do I do. I don't want to seem like a complete psycho lol Its just not the way I was raised to talk like that to other people whilst in a long term relationship. Do I leave or stay please help sorry for the rant
#25
7 years ago
I think it's obvious his whole heart is not in this relationship.. Thoughts?
Any male advice?
#26
7 years ago
I'm a male! 😃
It seems to me that you are hurt because he is texting the ex. It also occurs to me that you feel anxious due to his constant disregard about how you feel about his texting.
You are probably feeling very devaluated as a spouse and as a human being.
To me it seems you are taking his behavior as a kind of disregard to the relationship.
How do you think he would react if he heard these words?
#27
7 years ago
This is true. Yes I feel very offended that they text each other while I'm trying to talk to him. It's a tricky situation I know. To start with they are ex colleagues, supposedly haven't had sex, if I can read people. I tried telling him how hurt I am and he just keeps repeating the same things, that they don't have feelings for each other and that she wants to be my friend. But his actions show the opposite. I don't know what to do I just want him to be happy so we can all get on with our lives.
#28
7 years ago
He gets quite mopey when I bring it up but surely he knows what's going on? please help
#29
7 years ago
She also moved significantly closer recently. And yes I do trust him but this still makes me uneasy. Am I being crazy I certainly feel like it. He has been pressured into stuff In the past
#30
7 years ago
Although I'd like to tell you to nip this in the bud and make him stop texting her, we all know that trying to control someone elses actions is impossible! You've already communicated to him that it bothers you, now it's his turn to stop it. You will have to make the decision to trust him that he'll do the right thing or not.
There's really nothing else you can do because these are his actions, not yours. It's your decision to walk away or sit back and accept the behavior or not.
Though you trust him now, friendly turns into more than friends very quickly with this much communicating, and it can turn emotional. I'm speaking from experience. Just keep an eye out and mean business.
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